I don't know what I thought they would be but they were rather nice. We simply went over the 44 questions we already answered. The main point is for your case worker to get to know you better by talking about your answers. It was good. I took my whole hour. Our together took about 40 minutes or so. Then I left for Daniel to have his. He was done in like 20 minutes. So we were done in 2 hours instead of 3. With the gathered information, the cleared back ground check, the house acceptable and our references good, our case worker said there will be no problems. She will put together our home study in the next two weeks. We need to submit our birth parent letter. After approval and BP letter, our profile will go active and we can officially be viewed by birth mothers as potential parents. I'm starting to get really nervous. I have talked to people a lot about children. but what about babies? I have been told that the instinct will just come. But that has been said by biological mothers. With all do respect, I don't know if that helps. I know there will be bonding, but it will be so different from what most mothers experience. I know that after I have loved all I can that the Lord will soften my heart and give me extra love. Bonding will be aided by the Spirit. I know that I will feel love for my baby who comes to me a different way. But will my instincts kick in? Do I even have them?
I am placing faith in my Father in Heaven that this is the way for me. Yesterday there was a talk about faith and rising above such things as despair, doubt, distraction, and lack of dedication. It really spoke to me. It was peaceful to have those things spoken and know that I do not doubt my Heavenly Father's plan. I can say this now. Ask me again when we have been waiting for a year. But I have in my heart a peaceful feeling that things will happen in the Lord's time and he will prepare me in the mean-time. I pray that I will be able to keep this peace with me always. I am so grateful there is a network for me. To tap into that network see The R House and other adoption links posted on the side. I have made some blog friends there that have helped me greatly.
I will post when we get the approval letter. But I can't say I will let you all know any more than that. When we are chosen I don't know if I will share that news widely. It is possible for Birth Mothers to change their minds or for tragic things to happen. I know you all will feel for us but I don't want to think about adding additional pain by having to answer questions if something goes wrong. So after approval you all might be kept in the dark! Sorry. Thanks for understanding.
Yeah! Exciting! About letting us know(or anyone for that matter) that is totally up to you. Good luck!
ReplyDeleteHow great that your interviews went smoothly.:-) Ashley, you will have those maternal instincts weather or not you birth your child.:-) Your role as a women, a mother is a total spiritual thing. It is part of being a woman:-) Your spirit is a woman:-) Your spirit is a mother!:-) All moms have to get to know their babies when they first come to us. And all expecting mothers (as you are too) have doubts about bonding with their child. It will come:-)
ReplyDeleteI have a great testimony about adoption. My little cousin was adopted 15 years ago (he was 3 months old at the time). Everything about him, to this day shows us, that he truly belongs to his adoptive parents, he really just had to come to them in a different way:-)
And dont worry about not sharing when you get chosen. Something so special and personal does not need to be shared with the world. Just like early stages of pregnancy not all women share it right away with everyone.
(Sorry for a long post);-)
Good luck with everything Ashley:-)
I'm so excited for you guys! I know you're nervous, but amazing miracles are going to happen for you and Daniel. Thanks for sharing the process so far with us, and as for future updates, I totally understand not sharing. Good luck!
ReplyDeleteYay! I'm glad things are going so smoothly for you!! You know my aunt Doni adopted her son Carter, right? We were just talking about adoption the other day, and I think she has good insight, because she has had both biological children and an adopted child. She said that when a mother gives birth, it is a spiritual experience, but when you adopt a child, it is probably an even more spiritual experience. She said that there is absolutely no difference between her biological children and Carter. He is so much a part of their famiy, and our whole family for that matter. Heavenly Father just puts children in your family in whatever way he needs to. And just wait, you will love that baby more than anything when you get him/her. And for sure don't worry about sharing everything. It will be fun for it to just be between you and Daniel. Good luck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ReplyDelete