A beautiful Article

Have you ever wondered about what Church leaders say about adoption? We know the Church supports it because they have an agency. On this blog, an article was posted:

Is Adoption Acceptable to the Lord?

It's beautiful.

Here it is:

article: "Is Adoption Acceptable to the Lord?"

A Father's Gift By Liz Lemon Swindle

Is Adoption Acceptable to the Lord?
By A. Garner Oleson

Unmarried parents considering the best future for their child and themselves, and couples struggling with the emptiness and sorrow of childlessness, often ask, "Is adoption really acceptable to the Lord?"

In a practical sense, placing a child born out of wedlock with adoptive parents resolves several problems, but is it really right? What, if anything do the scriptures and prophets teach about adoption? So much emphasis is placed on the family and responsibilities of parents to teach and provide for their own, that the question of "rightness" of placing that trust in someone else appears to be a troubling concern to many.

The birth parents and their families are reminded of the scripture, "bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh" (Genesis 2:23). "This is my child," they tell themselves. "Wouldn't I be shrinking my responsibility if I asked someone else to teach and rear and provide a home for this child? Shouldn't I feel guilty if I didn't at least try to do my best to parent the child, even if I am single, or even if I am young?" Didn't the Apostle Paul say, "if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel" (1 Timothy 5:8)? "Am I appropriately 'providing for my own' if, as a single parent, I make an adoption plan for my child?"

Adopting parents often wonder, "Why are we unable to bear children? Doesn't the Lord want us to have children? Would we be circumventing His will if we adopt a child? Can we expect His blessings in rearing the adopted child the same as if the child were born to us? Is the adoption really okay?"

The answer to those concerns and questions can come from a variety of sources including the scriptures, latter-day prophets, and professional research on adoption.

Insight From The Scriptures
Even with the limited scriptural accounts of the first 2,000 of the world's history, there are many references to the anguish of childlessness. Consider Sarai's childlessness and her efforts to resolve her grief by taking her maid, Hagar, to Abram to bear a child for her (See Genesis 16). And, Rachel, who cries in desperation to her husband, Jacob, "Give me children, or else I die" (Genesis 30:1), and Jacob's helpless response, "Am I God's stead, who hath withheld from thee the fruit of the womb?" (Genesis 30:2) There is Hannah's pleading with the Lord at the Temple and her weeping and refusal to eat due to her grief over her childlessness. In helplessness, her husband says, "Why weepest thou? And why eatest thou not? And why is thy heart grieved? Am not I better to thee than ten sons? ...And she was in bitterness of soul, and prayed unto the Lord, and wept sore." And she vowed unto the Lord, "give unto thine handmaid a man child, then I will give him unto the Lord all the days of his life" (1 Samuel 1:5-28).

Regarding the rearing of children by those other than the children's parents, Father Abraham, himself, was born into a home where his needs could not best be served. As a young man he was taken "away from [his] kinsfolk, into a strange land which [he knew] not of" (Abraham 1:16).

The account of the discovery of the baby Moses in the bulrushes is well known. Moses, for his protection was placed in the care of others. "And the child grew, and she [his birth mother] brought him unto Pharaoh's daughter, and he became her son. And she called his name Moses: and she said, Because I drew him out of the water" (Exodus 2:10). Though he lived 3,500 years ago, he is to this day known and honored by the Christian, Jewish, and Muslim cultures worldwide, and is spoken of by the Lord by the name, Moses, which was the name given him by his mother by adoption.

Samuel, the prophet of Israel who anointed King David, was taken by his mother to be reared by another. The scriptures tell us "and the child was young ...and she said, as long as he liveth he shall be lent to the Lord" (1 Samuel 1:28). He grew to manhood not in the home of his parents, but in the home of Eli and his family. It was Eli, his "adoptive" father, who guided him as a child to listen when the Lord called his name in the night (1Samuel 1-3).

Even our Heavenly Father entrusted his Only Begotten Son to be reared by Joseph, who was not his biological father. And, while on the cross, Jesus established a new "family" relationship when he spoke to his mother, saying, "Woman, behold thy son!" and to John, "Behold thy mother! And from that hour that disciple took her unto his own home" (John 19:25-27).

Timothy, the young companion of Paul, was the son of a Greek father and Jewish mother and was spoken of by the Apostle Paul as "my own son" (1 Timothy 1:2, 18). It is clear that care of family members by those other than family was practiced and approved in biblical times.

The term "adoption" in the scriptures generally refers to being adopted into the House of Israel through faith in Jesus Christ accompanied by baptism and reception of the Holy Ghost, or to being adopted sons and daughters of Christ, becoming his children by obedience to the gospel (see Moses 5:7-8). Of course, as the spirit children of God, we are all adopted into our mortal homes. It would appear that when it best served those concerned, one is practicing a form of godliness to allow a child to be adopted into a home that will further his or her progress and bless the lives of hose involved.

What Have Latter-day Prophets Told Us?

In the early days of the Church, twins, a boy and a girl, were born into the home of the Prophet Joseph Smith and Emma. Both died within hours following birth. Not far away, on the same day, the wife of John Murdock died while giving birth to twins, also a girl and a boy. When the Murdock twins were nine days old, Brother Murdock took them to Joseph and Emma and asked them to make them their own. Brother Murdock called it a gift "more valuable than all the tokens of friendship ...ever received in that land of hospitality" (cited in Vernon Lynn Tyler, "Adventures in Adoption," Improvement Era, June 1968, p. 115). What trust! What love! Joseph and Emma felt joy as they undertook to raise the children.

Adoption, as a legal process in the United States, was first instituted by statute in Massachusetts in 1851, serving as a model for other states. Every state had enacted some form of adoption laws by 1929. Today, it is a rare family that has not been touched by adoption in some way.

Adoption in the Church was formally recognized in 1921 when President Joseph F. Smith designated the Relief Society Social Services Department as the Church's official child-placing agency. In 1969, under priesthood correlation, the Unified Social Services was organized and designated to provide adoption services. Unified Social Services is now known as LDS Social Services (which is now LDS Family Services).

In homage to women denied the power to bear children, President David O. McKay said some adopt children "as their own, rear them with an ability characteristic of and inherent in true womanhood, and fill the lives of their darlings with a love that only the yearning soul of such a mother can know. Such are true mothers, indeed, though part of the experience of motherhood be denied them!" (Treasures of Life, pp.39-40) President Ezra Taft Benson, speaking of those that adopt stated, "to these wonderful couples we salute you for the sacrifice and love you have given those children you have chosen to be your own" (To Mothers in Zion, Fireside Address to Parents, 22 February, 1987).

In a letter to Church leaders dated February 1, 1994, the First Presidency counseled:

"A child needs both a mother and a father...When the unwed parents are unable or unwilling to marry, they should be encouraged to place the child for adoption...Placing the infant for adoption through LDS Social Services helps ensure that the baby will be reared in a faithful Latter-day Saint family and will receive the blessings of the sacred sealing covenant...Such a decision enables the unwed parents to do what is best of the child and enhance the prospect for the blessings of the sacred sealing covenant...Such a decision enables the unwed parents to do what is best for the child and enhance the prospect for the blessings of the gospel in the lives of all concerned."

The First Presidency has stated, "Adoption is a positive, natural, and loving way to build families. We commend those who participate in the adoption process, whereby children may reap the benefits of having a loving father and mother and a stable home life" (Church News, November 18, 1989).

visit mrs. r at www.therhouse.blogspot.com

These are things about the Scriptures that I had not fully thought of.

I apologize about the lack of a tidbit last Tuesday. I spent the whole afternoon on a plane. I'm actually posting this from the Denver Airport waiting for my next flight. hehe. Consider this today's tidbit and I will resume next Tuesday.


What happens when Ashley is away.

I know you all are wondering what happens to Daniel when Ashley is gone for a week. So below is a brief list of what has, or has not happened, at the Allen household while Ashley has been gone.

Tuesday: Dropped Ashley off at the airport, when back to work. Mowed the lawn and played with the dogs.

Wednesday: Came home, didn't watch scrubs and better off Ted until Ashley called me and told me she had already watched them.

Thursday: Left work early to play golf then had friends over to play video games and watch the jazz game. Also got sick.

Friday: The sickness really starts to set in, but still hung out with friends.

Saturday: Slept most of the day.

Sunday: Church, sleep and updating this blog.

Things not done: Dishes, ironing, dog walking, and not buying chew bones for the dogs.



I'll post more tomorrow about my trip. I am now in Charlottesville at my Grandma's house. My favorite cousins are asleep in the next room (we think they are asleep - they are way excited about my being here).

Tonight on our way home from my Uncle's house, where we had dinner, I got a voice message. My Uncle live out in no reception land. I checked the voice mail and it was from our case worker. She said she had finished our home study and given it to the director for approval and he approved. So we are officially approved for Adoption!!! I am so excited. Our profile will be published by the end of next week. We just to finish our birth parent letter. (By the way - the HARDEST thing I have ever done!). I'll let you all know when it's up!!

Yay!!! very good day. And Happy Birthday to my little bro. 21. He's in Korea. He'll be home on May 13th! Crazy. Any one want to come to the parade with me tomorrow in Charlottesville? It will be 91 tomorrow afternoon. I'll see if I can't bring some heat home with me.


I'm in Philadelphia!!

Such a good time. Mostly. There's this thing about idiots under the age 80 that I'm still struggling with. The biggest problem is the eight graders that flock there. Big time annoyance. But other than that it's fun. It was cool and rainy today, but that's better than the heat we are going to deal with on Saturday at the parade. I'll post that one when I get home. Here are few pictures I took today.Liberty Bell. The only picture with me in it is horrible. I was mad at the 8th graders. Independence Hall through the blossoms. This is the Betsy Ross House. I have so much more to say about all this, but it's 11:20 here and I have a headache. Good night. Share more later!


Happy Birthday

Wednesday was my 26th birthday. It was a good day. My in-laws got me a massage gift certificate, so I had that in the morning. It was great. My parents got me some movies I've wanted for a while. Daniel got me a home office machine - scanner, copier, printer, fax. It's great. I wanted the scanner so I could scan all of my parents pictures from when I was growing up. I'm so excited to start my "occupy Ashley till adoption time" project.

Then for dinner we went to Ye Lion's Den and I got crab. We went with a few friends and had a great time!Thanks friends and Daniel Husband for a great birthday!


Yesterday's Tidbit


What is with the nasty little bugs.

Last Tuesday we did some yard work. In two hours, in early spring, I got 7 mosquito bites. Ouch. I was so mad. Daniel didn't get a single one.

According to this article, it's because I smell better apparently. Something about your genetic make-up and/or your blood type. But if it's genetics, why do one of my siblings and I get bit a lot and the other two don't. Cameron and I are like magnets to mosquitoes. It's awful.

I found this:

Why are some people more attractive to mosquitoes than others?
Scientists are still investigating the complexities involved with mosquito host acceptance and rejection. Some people are highly attractive to mosquitoes and others are rarely bothered. Mosquitoes have specific requirements to satisfy, and process many different factors before they feed. Many of the mosquito?s physiological demands are poorly understood and many of the processes they use to evaluate potential blood meal hosts remain a mystery. Female mosquitoes use the CO2 we exhale as their primary cue to our location. A hostseeking mosquito is guided to our skin by following the slip stream of CO2 that exudes from our breath. Once they have landed, they rely on a number of short-range attractants to determine if we are an acceptable blood meal host. Folic acid is one chemical that appears to be particularly important. Fragrances from hair sprays, perfumes, deodorants, and soap can cover these chemical cues. They can also function to either enhance or repel the hostseeking drive. Dark colors capture heat and make most people more attractive to mosquitoes. Light colors refract heat and are generally less attractive. Detergents, fabric softeners, perfumes, and body odor can counteract the effects of color. In most cases, only the mosquito knows why one person is more attractive than another.

I guess I won't find out for a while why I am a target. Maybe I'll eat more bananas and hope that old wives tale works. Does anyone have any more ideas or explanations?


So Happy!

Check this out. I am so happy for them!

One of the Best New Shows EVER!

Daniel and I are big fans of the silly, funny, quirky, and entertaining TV shows. We love the Big Bang Theory, How I Met Your Mother, Scrubs, and I like Chuck. Our new favorite is Better Off Ted. It is hilarious. It's on Wednesday nights, right after Scrubs. Here are some funny clips. The music is part of why it is so funny.


Tuesday Tidbit

Journals. They are so important and very fascinating.Examples:

Last week I needed to know my confirmation date for my service missionary interview. I forgot to ask my ward. So I called my grandma who keeps a record of things that go on in her life and in the lives of her children and grandchildren. She was able to tell me exactly. It was very helpful.

Thomas Jefferson (I know, him again) was an avid journal keeper. The people who are working at restoring his home and maintaining it's true environment have been helped by his journals. He recorded everything planted and where in his garden. This was also part of his horticultural interests.

The Governor's Palace in Colonial Williamsburg was burned to the ground in 1781. In the years prior, Thomas Jefferson resided there as Governor of the Territory of Virginia. During the 1920s and 1930s, while Mr. Rockefeller was restoring Williamsburg to it's Colonial state, they used Thomas Jefferson's detailed records of the Governor's Palace to re-built the Palace. They were able to match it almost exactly to what it was during his time.

I also find journals very interesting as they recount stories of family and of world events from different perspectives. Keep a journal. Someone suggested during our adoption classes that we records what happens and our feelings through the whole process to share with our child(ren) when they are grown. I am trying to document as best I can. I think the prophets have even shared with us the value of keeping journals. Records of our lives will serve many purposes, some of which we are not even aware. Blogs are great that way!!



I don't know what I thought they would be but they were rather nice. We simply went over the 44 questions we already answered. The main point is for your case worker to get to know you better by talking about your answers. It was good. I took my whole hour. Our together took about 40 minutes or so. Then I left for Daniel to have his. He was done in like 20 minutes. So we were done in 2 hours instead of 3. With the gathered information, the cleared back ground check, the house acceptable and our references good, our case worker said there will be no problems. She will put together our home study in the next two weeks. We need to submit our birth parent letter. After approval and BP letter, our profile will go active and we can officially be viewed by birth mothers as potential parents. I'm starting to get really nervous. I have talked to people a lot about children. but what about babies? I have been told that the instinct will just come. But that has been said by biological mothers. With all do respect, I don't know if that helps. I know there will be bonding, but it will be so different from what most mothers experience. I know that after I have loved all I can that the Lord will soften my heart and give me extra love. Bonding will be aided by the Spirit. I know that I will feel love for my baby who comes to me a different way. But will my instincts kick in? Do I even have them?

I am placing faith in my Father in Heaven that this is the way for me. Yesterday there was a talk about faith and rising above such things as despair, doubt, distraction, and lack of dedication. It really spoke to me. It was peaceful to have those things spoken and know that I do not doubt my Heavenly Father's plan. I can say this now. Ask me again when we have been waiting for a year. But I have in my heart a peaceful feeling that things will happen in the Lord's time and he will prepare me in the mean-time. I pray that I will be able to keep this peace with me always. I am so grateful there is a network for me. To tap into that network see The R House and other adoption links posted on the side. I have made some blog friends there that have helped me greatly.

I will post when we get the approval letter. But I can't say I will let you all know any more than that. When we are chosen I don't know if I will share that news widely. It is possible for Birth Mothers to change their minds or for tragic things to happen. I know you all will feel for us but I don't want to think about adding additional pain by having to answer questions if something goes wrong. So after approval you all might be kept in the dark! Sorry. Thanks for understanding.


Happy Anniversary!!

2 years. I am so happy. We are just as happily married as we were a week later after we got married. We had a good day. We slept in and then went to our interviews. (Another post.) He got me flowers and 4 piano books. I am excited. They are good ones.

Totally get your flowers from Pro-flowers. I have never been disappointed.
I got him two t-shirts that are totally him. This one is "Rock-Paper-Scissors-Lizard-Spock." It's from The Big Bang Theory. Our favorite tv show.The other one is a reference to a Homerism on the Simpsons. Another favorite show. We went to dinner at Ye Lion's Den. It's a wonderful Restaurant. The all inclusive dinner is my recommendation. So yummy. Then this evening we are just bummin at home. Our favorite thing to do.

Thank you Daniel for 2 wonderful years. Thank you for taking care of me and putting up with me. You are a great husband. May we have many more years of happiness!


Home Visit

Completed. Wow. It feels a little weird. Everyone was right about it. They come, ask you a few questions, poke their heads into each room, ask about safety features and leave. We have a smoke detector, we have a fire extinguisher. We have no stairs, so we won't need a baby gate. The only thing we are missing is a carbon monoxide monitor. We'll get that tonight.

She asked us things about our house; the square footage, year built, type of structure, etc. She asked about the neighborhood, proximity to church and parks. She asked about friends in the neighborhood. Everything was good, except the carbon monoxide monitor.

As I was talking with Daniel last night we were saying that it feels just a bit more tangible now. Paperwork is all well and good. The questions are interesting. They are what we will be going over in our interviews tomorrow. It's when your case worker comes to your house and talks to you about changes that will need to be made upon placement that it starts to feel a bit more real. We now have only our interviews, our birth parent letter and our paper profile to finish. We are getting a bit more nervous. I know I really want this. I can feel that I really want to be a mom. I am so excited. But we are a bit nervous that we will get chosen very quickly. We need a bit more mental and emotional preparation. But who is ever really prepared? Regardless of anxious or nervous feelings I know this is right for us. I really am truly excited.

If you want to read our birth parent letter, leave me your e-mail or e-mail me at ashleyallen15-at-gmail-dot-com. and I will happy to send it to you. I would love as many people to read it as possible. I have already sent it out to about 25 people for comments and editing. I would appreciate any further opinions on content.

Thank you everyone for your support. Thank you to those of you who have already given me your input on the birth parent letter.

Tidbit this week.....

Cheese again. This is Alton Brown's information on Cheese.

He has information about the rinds, storage, recipes, and the history of cheese. I love his show.