A really hard post for me.

The two weeks preceding Feb. 28 were very hard for me here in Xiamen. My dad had started to decline quite quickly by the day and we were waiting for the moment to make the call for me to go home. We decided that when his weight reached a certain point, it was time. Well he reached it. On a Sunday morning I talked with my mom and decided it was time for me to go home. I left early on Feb. 28 and landed in Utah in time to spend part of my afternoon with my dad.


My three weeks home were the hardest three weeks of my life, but contained some of the most tender memories I have with my family.

At that same time we decided that my dad's family should come to town then if they wanted some quality time with my dad. We did not know what the prognosis was at the time. The way things were going we knew it would be quick. But we didn't know how quick. So late on the night of the 28th my sister went and picked up my dad's mom, older sister, and younger brother. The next day I got them and we went to my parents house. At that point my dad had lost a ton of weight and he was rather confused about a lot of things. It was really hard on his older sister. To make this harder my dad was the same age his oldest sister was when she passed away in 2007. My poor aunt G has now lost the sibling on either side of her.

Then on Wednesday we went got my dad's baby sister from the airport and went to lunch. We spent tons of time together on Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday. Then my dad's brother left Saturday morning, his baby sister on Sunday, and his mom and older sister on the next Wed. Here are few pictures from my dad's last week.

Despite the confusion that accompanied his illness he remained the happy guy he has always been. He laughed most of that last week. And caused us to laugh plenty also. He continued to be so giving to my mom. He always smiled at her, hugged and only did what she said, not the rest of us.

 Laughing with his brother.

 Smiling for the camera.

 Showing his strong muscles.

 The remaining Araves. My grandpa died in 1989 after 14 years of a slowly progressing illness and My dad's oldest sister died in 2007 after complications from pulmonary hypertension.

 On Friday night we had a party and invited all his cousins who live in Hooper. He lived with them while he went to college and remained close to them through the years. My dad still had the most hair. Left to right: D, R, and brother K.

The group at the table.

My cousin, who lives in Evanston, son on my dad's oldest sister, even came in to town for a couple of days. He's just the happiest guy EVER!

He always got a smile out of my dad. 

 He was continuously smiling.

His best friend J. J came regularly with Wendy's Frosty's, A&W Rootbeer floats, and Roxberry juices. Most of the calories my dad consumed were from him. Thanks J for all your help. 

Looking of G's shoulder. They were always good buddies.

Some of the Araves.

My grandma, my dad, and his oldest sister. This was before the left. It was taken Tuesday night, they left Wednesday morning, and my dad passed away on Thursday night.

When they left on Tuesday night, he was doing pretty well. He was eating, his weight loss stopped, and he seemed very present with us. 

He woke on Wednesday and we knew things had changed. We believe something happened in the night.

The last 36 hours of my dad's life were hard to watch, but filled with tender mercies that brought us together more as a family that I could have imagined. My testimony grew, was strengthened, my respect for my siblings and my parents grew, as did my relationship with each of them. 

The Plan of Happiness is truly a plan of Happiness. We felt the presence of angels attending us as well as the prayers of many, known and unknown.

I know my dad is here with us still, watching out for us, cheering us on, and probably offering advice! I miss him terribly, but I know the Savior's Love is comforting me and my family and bearing us up. I now have another guardian angel on my team. 

The night of his funeral my sister and I went to the Symphony, one the best places for us, and a fried said to me, "Do you think your dad is picking your children?" To that I say, yes. He is. He's probably meeting those choice spirit who are going to join our family. He's picking children just like me, because isn't that the "curse" of every parent? Well dad, if you are doing the picking, and you choose spirits who will be children like me, I am very grateful! I think I was pretty good kid, as you told me. 

I love you dad and miss you.