Funeral Advice

I was given may compliments on my talk at my dad's funeral. My mom had the strong impression that at my dad's funeral we needed to cover the various aspects of his life. I talked about family, my uncle, his brother--in-law spoke about friendships and his hobbies, his boss at work talked about his professional life, and a good friend from church talked about his spirituality. We had many compliments on the funeral. There were a few things that we did that I would recommend to others and some plain old advice I would give to everyone.

What we did: At the viewings we had stationary and pens that we put with clipboards. We put my very effective Aunt P in charge and worked the lines. We had people share stories and memories of my dad. As a result we have well over 100 stories and memories from people my dad knew. We had no idea what an impact my dad had on people or how many people, and this helped us realize it. I don't think anyone truly knows how much influence they have on others. This way we were able to catch of glimpse of that.

In February we were informed that an anonymous person had started an endowed scholarship in my dad's name at the University of Utah for the Parks, Recreation, and Tourism Department. In the obituary we requested that in lieu of flowers, that donations be sent. As of last week over $2,000 had been donated. Now all of that money is doing good, instead of dead flowers in the garbage. I recommend that whatever it is, do something that is in lieu of flowers. We still received over 15 floral arrangements and plants, plenty. Have people do something good and worthwhile with their sympathies. I know my dad would have chosen the same.

We had a friend of my from high school come and photograph the graveside. We don't have the pictures back yet, but we could all focus on the experience knowing someone else was capturing it for us.

Sound advice: For your upcoming anniversary do the helpful, but not romantic by any means, thing, and get your selves funeral plots. We had 20 minutes to pick a funeral plot. We are happy with what we chose, but it was an extra cost that can be dealt with before the fact. My mom bought 8 more for her birthday. It's just one more thing to ease the burden after a loved one passes.

Funerals are very expensive. Make sure you have life insurance. Get it now while you are young and healthy. You never know when or how. Make sure you leave something behind to ease the burden. Fortunately my dad had good life insurance and a fantastic retirement plan. My mom will be okay. But can you imagine what it would be like without that buffer?

Life throws curve balls. Plan ahead for the inevitable and do what you can to ease the loved ones you leave behind.

That's my soapbox finished.