We know that the Lord has a plan for us and that he is in control. We are commanded to "trust in the Lord ...and lean not unto our own understanding." (Pro. 3:5)
How do we know the difference between our own understanding and the Lord's? Are those thoughts that we have from our own desires or are they placed in our minds as guidance from the Lord?
When we made the difficult decision to come to China we were pretty much trusting that that was 100% from the Lord. These kinds of things don't develop over the course of 2 weeks for no reason. Thus, we decided to come. The circumstances couldn't have been better. We don't have children. We put the dogs with my sister-in-law, we rented the house, packed up our goods, and boarded a plane. (It was actually MUCH more complicated than that. I just realized we don't have pictures of the whole process. Oh well.)
Knowing that we were supposed to come is one thing. Knowing what we are supposed to learn and gain from this experience is another.
I was recently talking to my grandmother (well, both actually, since I talk to both of them fairly regularly) and I have a cousin who is struggling with what to do with the course of their life. (I actually have many cousins, some struggling more than others in this way.) (Dear cousins - if you think it's you - it's probably not.)
It made me sad to hear that this cousin still seems to be fighting things. The scripture that came to mind was Acts 9:5 "And he said, Who are thou, Lord? And the Lord said, I am Jesus, whom thou persecutest: it is hard for thee to kick against the pricks."
I had a very good seminary teacher, well, many of them, and one of them described that the "pricks" are cattle prods essentially. It was a sharp object at their heels that would force the oxen to move their feet forward. If the oxen kicked back it caused more pain and problems.
Well, we know that we don't persecute the Church (I am assuming my normal audience here). So what are the pricks that we are kicking against? The continued desire to go with our plan instead of the Lord's plan? To think that our ways are His ways? What are they in your life? Maybe you think you are pursuing the best path, and it may be a good path, just not the one the Lord has laid out. The best way for me to trust in the Lord is to look back and see that when I have trusted him, he has not led me astray. When I have trusted myself, it's been more painful. To sum it up: He's never messed up.
So we aren't kicking against the pricks by moving to China, but am I kicking while I'm here? Maybe I said I'd go but now all I want to do is hole up in the apartment and watch American TV and pretend I'm not here. On the days I've done that I feel like I've wasted time and it makes me tired and grumpy.
I'm doing better. I am learning Chinese. I am also working on some family history research using the internet. I am playing the piano some. I am also working on a cross-stitch for when I am watching movies for TV during the day and with Daniel. I'm trying to make my time here pleasant. So I am hoping to feel that little prick that says "go this way and you'll make progress."
Which direction leads to progress for you?
Just some thoughts. What are yours?
Excellent post Ashley! I think our job is to "bloom where we are planted". Right now I am planted in Brazil. I can spend my time longing for my country of birth and all that I am accustomed to, or I can be open to experience new things and can be grateful for this unique opportunity. Some days I choose to long for that which I am accustomed to... and those are not happy days. I have never thought of it as kicking against the pricks, but I suppose that is what I do on those days. Other days I am so very grateful to be experiencing new things. I am finally getting much better with the language and that helps a LOT!
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