Don't do it. Tomorrow Daniel comes home after spending the last 4 weeks in China. It has been hard. The longer it's gone on, the harder it has gotten. Thank goodness for family and friends. I've had meals at each parents as well as my grandparents a couple of times. I've had friends help entertain me. Last Saturday I went with some good friends to go shopping, do a session in the Oquirrh Mountain temple, and dinner at Johnny Rocket's in Farmington. Very yummy, I may say. My back door neighbors even sent over some soup. (Thank you Craig & Melissa!)
You never know how much you depend on just having another person present, until that person is gone. I was only able to talk to Daniel once a day, at the end of my day, because of the time difference. This meant that by the time we talked I was worn out, tired, fed up, finished and exhausted. Making for a few whiny conversations on my part.
I've learned a few things about myself during the process. Some things I didn't want to learn. But don't we all have those kinds of lessens? Unfortunately the journeying isn't over yet. He'll have a few more trips to China before this is over. And even then he'll take regular maintenance trips once a quarter or so. Can I just say that, often, being a grown up sucks? Yup.
Another blogger, Kenna, wrote about being safe under her boulder. I must say, she put it well. I can sympathize. I've been hiding on my wingback chair in the TV room escaping into the world of Psych for the last month. I'm on episode 67 or something - in just a month. I think I have a crush on Shawn Spencer. Besides work, and the times I've come out to get fed, I have holed up in my house with my sometimes wonderful, sometimes obnoxious, dogs. I have retreated. But tomorrow I have to get up and come out and be a grown up.
Fortunately I'll have my wonderful, patient, hard working husband back to stand by my side while we battle the foes and challenges that come at us. I'll recharge and we'll be able to deal with the stuff that keeps getting in the way of our progressing to our goals.
I'm glad Daniel has a good job, but I'm also glad that we have been promised there will be no more 4 week trips. Hallelujah.
